What the hell did she say?!
“I don’t chase boys, they chase me”. She grinned at me. “It is all right”. ” He will be over here begging me to sleep with him soon and us talking will just speed up the process.” Until then, you get the honor of my company. I said. “Lucky for me it doesn’t look like you’re armed with a beverage tonight”. She laughed but stopped suddenly. I could feel her eyes on me but I didn’t look up.
“Are you alright? You don’t seem as aggressive as usual”
“Leave me alone, Julian am serious. “What’s wrong?” “Go away”. The anxiety inside me needed to escape, to be released in some way. I couldn’t wait untill Paul and I got back home to vent. I needed to let it out then. I didn’t want to cry, not in front of half dwellers and there was no way I was going to talk about it with Paul or the mouthpiece in Julian (Paul’s girlfriend) seated next to me, and punching someone would just get me in trouble. I couldn’t see any other options but I felt like I could explode if I didn’t let it out soon.
My mom and dad had divorced a day before! Mom was back to Kiruhura, dad was drowning. I was too much of a coward to do a damn thing about it. “There has to be something bothering you, Casa?” Julian persisted. “You look like you might cry” She put her hand on my shoulder forcing me to turn and face her. OMG! Then I did a really fucked up thing. My only excuse is that I was under an unbelievable amount of stress and I spotted an outlet.
I needed something to distract me, anything far from my parent’s drama in just a second. And when I saw my chance, I didn’t stop thinking about how much I would regret it later. An opportunity sat on the bar stool beside me and I laughed at it. Literally, I kissed Julian!
One second her hand lay on my shoulder and my pink eyes rested, for once, on my face and the next my mouth was on hers. Her lips were fierce with bottled emotions and she seemed to be tense, her body Frozen in shock. That didn’t last very long. An instant later, she returned the aggression, my hands flying to her sides and pulling her towards me. It felt like a battle between our mouths.
My hands clewed into her curly hair, tagging its way harder than necessary and her finger tips dung into my waist. It worked better than punching someone. Not only did it help to release the agonizing pressure, but it definitely distracted me. I mean it’s hard to think about your parents’ issues when you’re making up with someone and also kissing my friend’s girlfriend was another crime I will have guilt all through my life.
As disturbing as it sounds, Julian was really a good kisser. She leaned into me and tagged herself to me so hard that I nearly fell off my stool. In that moment we just couldn’t get close enough to each other. Our separate seats seamed like they were miles apart. All my thoughts vanished and I became a sort of physical being. Emotions disappeared. Nothing existed but our bodies and our warring lips were at center of everything.
It was a bliss. It was amazing not to think. Nothing! Nothing!……… until she screwed it up. My hands slid into her waist traling to her torso until it rested on her boob. Everything flooded back and I suddenly remembered exactly who I was kissing. I tore my hands from boobs and she shove me away. Anger and fresh hot anger surged through me completely and anxious worry I had been feeling or a minute before vanished.
Her hand dropped and landed on my knee as she pulled away. I looked surprised but distinctly pleased. “Wow, that was……………..!” She slapped me and my hand flew to her check. “What the hell?” I demanded, “Why did you slap me?” I yelled, and I jumped off the stool and stormed on to the dance floor. I didn’t want to admit, but I was madder at my self than at her but I did it….